Parenting a child with Asperger’s (or pervasive developmental disorder) can be confusing. Here are five steps to make it easier.
Pervasive developmental disorder is the not the exact same thing as Asperger’s. However, the steps you take should take are similar. There is actually a lot of confliciting information on the differences between PDD, PDD-NOS, Asperger’s and Autism. Try not to get too caught up in these technicalities.
It is likely that you will feel a range of emotions when your child gets an Asperger’s diagnosis. It might be helpful to discuss this with a professional, close friend, or family member you trust.
1 Give yourself a little time.
- Learn more about this this diagnosis… and get a little more used to the idea. This may take a little time.You do NOT need to become an expert.
- Realize that most people in this situation DO experience some anxiety and maybe even a little anger.
2 Meet with your child’s school to find out what sorts of programs and accommodations are available in your child’s school.
- Buy a notebook… write down your questions… and bring these questions with you when you meet with the school.
- When speaking with the school be polite and respectful. Listen to what they have to say.
- ASSUME they have your child’s best interests at heart, because most of them do.
- Ask questions and write down the answers
- Share information that you feel is relevant, such as likes and dislikes, or any relaxation techniques you use with your child
- If necessary, be a little firm. Try to get answers to your questions. If they do not know the answer, ask them if they can look into it. Write this down in your notebook.
- Follow up with a polite email where you:
- Thank them for meeting you
- Provide a quick list of bullets as to what the conclusions of the meeting were.
- Provide a few quick bullets where you remind them of information you shared with them about your child.
- Remind them about the question they were going to answer for you.
3 Find out if your child is eligible for ABA therapy though your insurance company. .If these options are NOT available… you may be able to find online programs for your child.
4 Cultivate a support system. Figure out which friends of family members can be helpful. Look online for forums and support groups.
Enlist the help of trusted friends or family members or professional… having them on the same page can be invaluable for you AND your child. Explain the situation them… send them literature… direct them to online information. This may take more than one conversation… it probably take time for them to understand this. You need support from people who love you.
Not everyone can be supportive in this area of your life… focus on the ones who can be.
5 Now is a good time to help your Asperger’s child learn to have a ‘calm mind’ and ‘calm body’
Now is a good time to introduce your child to relaxation techniques such as mindfulness, affirmations, deep breathing, progressive-muscular relaxation, guided imagery, or the other age-appropriate techniques. This can teach you child how to recognize when they are getting angry or upset and how to calm himself.
Many parents with children on the spectrum use Airy Melody Music CDs/MP3 to teach their children age-appropriate relaxation techniques. Not only can these recording teach your child techniques he needs to relax, they can also help your child fall asleep more quickly, and can be used in the hospital should your child need tests.
Preview guided-meditation CD/MP3s with your child
At least initially, listen to these CD/MP3s with your child. (If your child is very sensitive, listen to these BEFORE you play them for your child.) Become familiar with the terms and techniques that your child will likely encounter in books, online, or in treatment. That way, you can remind your child to do her calm breathing or use affirmations when she starts to get wound up.
If you do try a guided-meditation CD, let your child’s siblings listen to it too.
This situation is usually hard on the whole family, need siblings can use the help coping with stress. Furthermore, having siblings listen can be encouraging to your child.
Parenting a child with Asperger’s is challenging, but remember that many people do it. Now is a good time for you to learn to have a calm mind and body too using guided meditations sleep and anxiety (for older kids and adults).