This post has a step-by step plan to help you decide WHEN and HOW to tell your child they are on the Asperger’s spectrum syndrome. please note that Asperger’s spectrum syndrome is also referred to as Asperger’s syndrome or just Asperger’s.

    It is important to be prepared for this discussion.  Please read Parenting a Child With Asperger’s: What To Do First

    Most experts agree that you should tell a child about an Asperger’s diagnosis before they are teens. When your child indicates that they feel ‘different’ from other kids, that is a sign that is time to have this discussion with your child.
    Framing this discussion in a positive way is VERY important… this is what you need to consider when telling your child:
    • Print out a few copies of A First Look at Aspergers for Kids & Teens. (This document is also available as a blog post.)
    • Read this document out loud, or have your child or the professional who is present read it.
    • If you would rather, you can refer to this blog post that explains Asperger’s to kids.
    • Encourage your child to take this sheet with her, to read later.
    • Consider having a therapist or other professional present.
    • Be matter-of-fact as possible
    • Stress that this is not a good thing or a bad thing; it is just a way to be.
    • Do NOT give too much information to start.

    Your child may be relieved, angry, confused or ALL of the above!

    If your child is having a difficult time it is important to reassure him that this will get easier. It is important to reassure YOURSELF too.

    Remember that:

    • There are many different types of bodies and many different types of brains.
    • Having Aspergers is not a good thing or a bad thing, it is just means that you have a special type of brain
    • As many as one in one hundred people have this type of brain, so there are a lot of people who have this type of brain! You may want to find some examples of people who Aspergers online
    • There are some positive things about having Aspergers
    • Just like anyone, people who have Aspergers may need help learning to do certain things.

    Stress that you are going to make sure that he gets all the help he needs to make her life happy and successful

     Do not give your child too much information about Asperger’s spectrum syndrome at this time.

    Let the idea sink in. Your child will probably ask you questions in the next few weeks. As time goes on, you will can go into more details. Explain the steps you are going to take to help your child.

    Over the next several weeks or months, you  may need to repeatedly reassure your child that things are going to be okay.

    One child, who was having a hard time, asked his mother if he would always have Aspergers. Each time he asked, she thoughtfully answered, “Yes, you will always have it. But it will not always be this hard.”

    It is also important to remember to reassure YOURSELF that things be OK. Because they will.